East Of Eden

"A curious mix of the relevant and reverential"


Of surgeries and ads.

 

TURTLEBOY7yearoldDidierissufferingfromaconditionisknownasacongenitalmelanocyticnevusacommonskincomplaint

(Mirror)

 

 

So while David and the rest of the literati world got their books on, I slumped on the couch and watched a documentary called "Turtle Boy" on NatGeo. After a long day which included IVIG therapy, the crazed tantrums of Z, and picking bran flakes out of the carpet for the zillionith time (thanks Z), I just wanted to enjoy my sleepy time tea and lay about.

 

"Turtleboy" follows a sweet faced Colombian boy named Didier as he travels along with his mom from their remote rural farm to a major hospital in Bogota. Didier is inflicted with a rare disease that has caused a huge mole to grow on his back that resembles a turtle shell. Doctors are worried that it could turn cancerous, and want to perform a number of surgeries over the course of weeks to remove it.  K and I watched it together while Z snored. I found myself stroking her chubby cheeks and thanking God for her health. I almost started crying when his mom cried and admitted her faith in God was wavering. It's funny how in becoming a mom, I feel so very protective of children all around.

 

Didier's long road to health was interrupted for obligatory commercial breaks. One for the Pen-Brella was so awful, I forgot to be sad and had to laugh. I mean laugh loudly and even snort a little. K sat up and said, "What?!?" I then realized immediately I would have to share the sheer craptasticness of this ad with you all. And luckily, YouTube has it!

 

 

 

If any of you thinks that commercial, that chintzy little umbrella, any of it, is good. Just stop. Stop what? Stop everything. Stop and go sit down someplace.

 

Another commercial wound up pissing me and K off. Or actually, a series of commercials for DirecTV's Genie. Here's one of them:

 

 

 

So here we are, watching this poor little Colombian boy go through multiple surgeries, including painful skin grafts, and these ads keep popping up about how annoying cable is. More annoying than demented wooden puppets, the worse student driving school ever, or having your dentist sneeze into your open mouth while working on you. Yes, because DVR issues are the worst.

 

"Yup, first world problems," I said to K.

 

"No, the problem is," K replied, "It's not even a problem."

 

I stopped and thought about what K said. Looking at "Turtle Boy", and before that, China's Elephant Man and India's Lakshmi Girl, I had to agree. Having your DVR fill up... no, not a problem. Not in any part of the world.

 

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