Lent- Day 24: Euphoria in aporia.

A drawing of Soren Kierkegaard I did yesterday.

I haven’t been sleeping well the last few nights. My thoughts, during the day and night, are on my daddy, who’s been on life support since last week. We- the family- know, but are still grappling with the reality that we are nearing the end.

I’ve shared this news with a number of friends and they all almost immediately ask how am I doing. I’ve struggled to come up with a response. Nothing seems quite right. 

At five something this morning, having given up with pretending that I’d get sufficient rest, I slipped out of bed, turned on my laptop and started on work for the Soren Kierkegaard class I’m taking through Coursera. One of the key terms discussed is aporia, which is ancient Greek and means, roughly, “at a loss”. More from Wikipedia:

Definitions of the term aporia have varied throughout history. The Oxford English Dictionary includes two forms of the word: the adjective, “aporetic” which it defines as “to be at a loss,” “impassable,” and “inclined to doubt, or to raise objections”; and the noun form “aporia,” which it defines as the “state of the aporetic” and “a perplexity or difficulty.” 

A state of “loss”, or “perplexity”,  full of “doubt” and mentally screaming “objections”… you know what? I think I know how I’m doing. I’m aporetic. 

My Scripture devotional reading for the day included Psalm 100:

1. Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.

2 Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs.

3 Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.

5 For the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.

This little chapter contains some of my favorite verses in the whole Bible, and today, they’re speaking to my soul. In the midst of the aporia, they tell me to worship with gladness and sing joyful songs. They remind me that the Lord is in control, and I belong to Him. His love and faithfulness are eternal.

Reflection for the day: God is faithful.