East Of Eden

"A curious mix of the relevant and reverential"


Some Saturday Stuff: March 22nd.

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Happy Saturday, Friends. By now, you've probably seen the American Vogue cover featuring Kimye that is producing a whole lot of backlash. A whole lot is probably an understatement.

 

Anyway, it didn't really bother me, to be honest. I haven't purchased an issue of Vogue in years, and frankly, I'd noticed the mag's move of far less models on the cover and more celebs. Granted, they were fashionable celebs, but still celebs. So I saw the cover, did a medium paced "SMH" and a little "Kanye shrug" and kept it moving. That is, right up until I read editor-in-chief Ana Wintour's defense of the cover over at Necole Bitchie. Here, check it out:

 

“Part of the pleasure of editing Vogue, one that lies in a long tradition of this magazine, is being able to feature those who define the culture at any given moment, who stir things up, whose presence in the world shapes the way it looks and influences the way we see it. I think we can all agree on the fact that that role is currently being played by Kim and Kanye to a T. (Or perhaps that should be to a K?) As for the cover, my opinion is that it is both charming and touching, and it was, I should add, entirely our idea to do it; you may have read that Kanye begged me to put his fiancée on Vogue’s cover. He did nothing of the sort. The gossip might make better reading, but the simple fact of the matter is that it isn’t true. There’s barely a strand of the modern media that the Kardashian Wests haven’t been able to master, and for good reason: Kanye is an amazing performer and cultural provocateur, while Kim, through her strength of character, has created a place for herself in the glare of the world’s spotlight, and it takes real guts to do that.” —Anna Wintour

 

The part that stuck in my craw was Anna Wintour's description of Kim's "strength of character". Now I don't know Kim from Miss Piggy, but really, what is the definition of "strength of character"? Being able to weather an onslaught of life's storms? I've got a friend on life support, another in extreme pain due to a neuro disorder but is still taking care of her kids, my mother-in-law just lost her baby sister from cancer on Thursday... and hell, I almost died last month as a result of  trying to treat my neuro problems. So yeah, I see strength of character all around me, but no, not on that cover.

 

Again, I don't know her, so maybe she is a soldier. I just wondered what are the standards? I agree that they are most likely the world's mnmost talked about couple, no hashtag needed, and Kanye has been doing his thing as a performer for over a decade. But Kim's strength of character?

 

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Um, yeah, I'll just end this with they both look very nice and keep it moving... right to Kimye Vogue spoofs! From the Dailymail:

 

They're the most talked about twosome in the universe.

 

At least, that's what 'Vague' magazine has claimed, as the hottest couple of the moment Kermit and Miss Piggy AKA Kermiggy grace the cover of the prestigious fashion bible's April issue.

 

Flaunting her curves in a sequined white wedding dress, Piggy looked radiant in diamonds as her handsome beau rested his chin on her shoulder, gazing lovingly ahead... or so it would have read, had the snap not been a spoof of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's American Vogue cover, which was revealed on Friday.

 
It's Kermiggy! Kermit and Miss Piggy appear on the cover of 'Vague' magazine, spoofing US Vogue's April cover featuring Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

It's Kermiggy! Kermit and Miss Piggy appear on the cover of 'Vague' magazine, spoofing US Vogue's April cover featuring Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

 

Celebrating the debut of The Muppets: Most Wanted movie, which hit cinemas the same day, the mocked-up image was posted on the furry puppets' Facebook and Twitter pages.

The headline echoed that of the real cover, trumpeting 'their fashionable lives and surreal times.'

 

However, Vague took it one step further, elevating the cute couple to #universesmosttalkedaboutcouple, when Vogue merely heralded Kim and Kanye as #worldsmosttalkedaboutcouple.

But they weren't the only ones to poke fun at the much commented-upon cover.

 
'Love you, dog!' James Franco recreated his very own Vogue cover, starring himself as Kanye and Seth Rogan as Kim

'Love you, dog!' James Franco recreated his very own Vogue cover, starring himself as Kanye and Seth Rogan as Kim

 

Actor James Franco, 35, got creative with Photoshop and revealed his very own cover - featuring himself in the role of Kanye and good pal Seth Rogen as his bride-to-be.

However, instead of posing together for the shot, Franco had merely pasted their faces over the famous couple, with bearded Rogen taking over Kim's voluptuous body.

The This Is The End co-stars have previously mocked the high-profile pair's artistic contributions, creating their very own version of Kim and Kanye's cringe-inducing video Bound 2.

 

As a fan of The Muppets, I'm totally loving Kermiggy. Talk about longevity! Also from the Dailymail, a story on the rising popularity of Purity Balls:

 

 

Purity balls, in which a girl pledges to remain ‘pure’ until her wedding day, symbolically ‘marries’ God, and promises her father that she will remain a virgin until she's a wife, have become a phenomenon in America, now taking place in 48 out of the 50 states.

 

The balls resemble giant wedding ceremonies, with the girls - all around the age of 12 - wearing white gowns and dancing with their fathers who promise to ‘protect’ their daughter’s chastity.

During the ceremony, fathers present their daughters with purity rings, which they wear to symbolise their commitment to virginity.

 

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In the movement purity means no sexual contact of any kind, including kisses, until after marriage.

 

One of the largest father-faughter purity balls - which is the subject of a Nightline Prime investigation - has been held for 14 consecutive years in Broadmoor Hotel in Colorado Springs.

The event sees upwards of 60 fathers pledging to ‘protect their daughter’s choices for purity'.

 

Fathers taking part are expected to sign a ‘purity covenant’ in which they, as ‘High Priest of their home and family’ pledge ‘before God to cover my daughter as her authority and protection in the area of purity’

 

The daughters silently commit to live pure lives before God through the symbol of laying down a white rose at the cross, before engaging in a wedding-type dance with their father.

A new documentary follows two families who are taking part in this ritual; the Wilsons, whose father Randy is one of the founders of the father daughter balls, and the Johnsons from Indiana.

 

While all seven of the Wilson children are home schooled, socialising mainly with other members of their church community, the Johnson children attend a regular high school.

 

But while they might be exposed to normal teenage behaviour at school, at home they have the message of purity enforced by father Ron, who is the head pastor at the Living Stones Church.

 

One scene sees Ron kneeling in front of one of his younger daughter, gifting her with her purity ring.

 

‘One of the things you’ve been asking daddy about is “when am I going to get my purity ring?”

 

‘One of things I think it’s important to remember is this is your desire to do it the Lord's way and really save yourself from kissing lots of toads along the way and wait for your prince charming to come along,' he says.

 

Brandishing a gold ring, Ron continues: ‘This is just a reminder that keeping yourself pure is important. So you keep this on your finger and from this point you are married to the Lord and your father is your boyfriend.’
 
Woah! Dad as boyfriend??? What in the sanheezy??? I've been hearing about this balls since my late teens, and the purity ring a bit earlier, but this is starting to get r-e-a-l-l-y weird. Funny how some of these same folks view nuns as weird (or wrong) choosing to be married to Jesus, but tweens marrying God while dating their dads is a-okay. I also wonder where are the sons? The moms? What happens with kids who are fatherless? I guess I should watch the documentary. Here's a short preview:
 
Speaking of Catholics, a few months ago, it was all over the news that Pope Francis had come out swinging against capitalism, and the story quickly became lost in the responsorial uproar. Just this week I caught an old episode of Freakanomics Radio while chopping veggies that does a good job of actually discussing the morality (from a Catholic POV and a general humanity type, too) of the free market system. Listen here:
 
 
Oh, did you catch Questlove on "Law & Order: SVU" this week? No? Maybe too distracted by Alec Baldwin's turn as a veteran newspaper man. It was a quick, one scene appearance... I screenshot it:
 
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Why did they have to do him like that?
 
I'm eyeing Fallon for this.
 
 
Finally, here's Jene Aiko with "Mirrors". Have a great weekend.
 
 
 
 
 

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